Grateful For My Hell
I truly believe that those who have never truly struggled can only have so much compassion for others. At this point in my life I can honestly say that I am 100% grateful for every challenge and struggle I have overcome and gone through. See the point is that I have "gone through" and "overcome" them and I can relate and feel empathy for others. My pains and challenges inspire my desire and compassion to help others.
There were times in my life when I know those around me thought I could've done better or that I was a fuck-up when I was truly doing the best that I could. It was so frustrating and hurtful to be judged and looked down upon by those that I loved when needed support from. See I didn't have the knowledge or skills then that I have now. I didn't even know what I was dealing with then myself so I don't blame them. How could they know? It still hurt though. I remember thinking why is all this happening to me?!?!?! I felt like such a victim. I now know I was creating my life's circumstances by my thoughts and actions and feelings. We become and create what we think about.
It took those struggles and years of pain to get me to really dig for answers. The challenge was to come up with the questions to ask to even start to change my life. You don't know what you don't know. But thankfully the pain was so great that it drove me to figure out how to change.
In 2005 I read The Secret. After that, I knew I had found a different way to see things. I knew I could start creating my life instead of thinking life was happening to me. It was liberating. I bought the DVD and I would put it in and hit play and go about my day. I was a stay at home mom and so I was home all day. I let it play over and over and over again. It was the beginning of becoming the person you see today. I know where you are; I've been there. I know what's possible; I'm creating it. So if you can relate to all I just wrote, then I'm talking to you....and when you hear me say these words, just know....I truly mean them.
I see you. I love you. You deserve to be happy!!!
Each day I come with my buckets of water for you because I walked through hell and that misery filled me with compassion and love for your hell. I feel you and it can get better. I promise you. Do your best, look for answers, apply them, and your life will change. It's a beautiful thing.....