I am so over-the-top giddy right now!!! Today was the greatest yoga practice of my life so far! I want to go back to last week where I feel like the magic of this experience started so please hold tight.
Last Tuesday I went to yoga expecting to take Philips raja class. I walked in and didn't see him outside where he usually greets everyone. When I walked in I realized mats were in a circle with a candle in the center. I knew I was not in Philips class. I settled in and class started.
One of so many great things that happens when you practice yoga is it invites you to be in the moment. When you do the poses, many are very difficult or "unusual", so you are completely focused on your body and alignment. Raja is very chill. You can be in one pose for five to ten minutes. It uses no muscle. In fact, the opposite. It uses gravity to accentuate or emphasize an inward focus on self awareness and mental clarity bringing us closer to Self.
What is self? You. The One that listens to the conversations that go on inside our head. Think about that for just a moment. Close your eyes and think about what that really means. If there is "someone" hearing it, then who is listening. There is a conscious mind and a subconscious mind. Self(you) is the conscious one. You/Self are consciousness. And You/Self occupies the body you call (fill in the blank with your name).
Why is this so important to know? It is important so we can become more consciously aware. Why is that so important? It is important so we can create conscious thoughts. Why is that so important? Its is important because our thoughts, conscious and subconscious, create beliefs. Why is this so important? It is important because we want to think intentional thoughts...positive thoughts, that create beliefs.....beliefs that move us in the direction of our wildest dreams. It is our beliefs that create our reality.
Back to yoga....That day, in Raja, was incredible. A beautiful goddess named Rebecca was teaching my class. Every single thing out of her mouth was exactly what I was thinking, feeling or doing at the same time. I thought:
'this chick is totally in sync with me'....'this is crazy'......'maybe she's phychic'....'maybe I'm phychic'.... 'Keely, focus on your breath, not that".....then Rebecca would say:"focus on your breath" .
Where ever my focus went, Rebecca went too. It wasn't just that. She was speaking my spiritual language. Most people would not get some of her thoughts. I got every single one. She was teaching class just as I would if I taught yoga. After class I thanked her and shared a little of the experience and went on my way.
Fast forward to this morning. Before leaving the house I checked the schedule to see who was teaching the 9:15 class..... Philip teaching raja. Yes! On my drive, I always mentally and spiritually prep with music that helps me get my zen on. My thoughts drifted and I thought of my last class with Rebecca and how cool it was.'I should get on Facebook and find her through Philip's profile.' I really felt pulled to connect with her again and just have a conversation with her.' Thought gone...
I got to the shala and walked in a couple of minutes late. Ugh! I really like showing up on time because I get to set up where I want, use the restroom, say hi to people, get on my mat and stretch or just sit in lotus meditating. Whenever I have been late I feel I cause a vibration in the room that disturbs others already in a meditative state. I always do my best to treat others as I want to be treated.
When I walked in everyone was in Child's Pose. I glanced to the front of the room. It wasn't Philip. It was Rebecca! She was subbing for him again! I thought....'here we go again! LOL! Manifesting like a God!!"
I put down my mat, dropped into child's pose, and set my intention. This is done before we start normally. My intention was....to be present and open to the magic of connection. 'Where did that come from???' Most days my intentions are "intentional". Giggles. This one, came to me. One thing I have learned to do more and more over the past three years, is trust my instincts. So I went with it. Into the mystic....
Each pose, each feeling, each thought, Rebecca was there with the same ones. I literally had to keep bringing myself back to me so I didn't let my mind wonder and think about these synchronistic events. How could I not? Its was blowing my mind! These were my thoughts and the MOST AWESOME EXPERIENCE EVER:
"Damn, what is happening?.......this is not a coincidence.....there are no coincidences......something really incredible is happening......really look at this Keely....stop fighting the thoughts and let them come....fuck the present moment for now.....they want to come.......this chick and I are connected somehow......perhaps we knew one another in a past life.....perhaps she was me in a past life....perhaps we are the same person living in different lifetimes........perhaps we are the same person living in parallel universes....she must be my twin.....she IS me.....we are the same......of course we are.....I mean what is really separating us?....."
I pictured my body surrounded with white light and then I saw me as the light. My light was radiating so far away from my body that it reached the front of the room and merged with Rebecca's. Then the tears came.....one after another. I saw and felt my connection with everything! Like a flash it was all so clear. All of it. My light(me) connected with everyone in the room. I was connected to everything and everyone everywhere. Just love and light. We are all light and the only thing that separated me from Rebecca or me from you, is our bodies and fears and beliefs and the intense identification with the mind and body that houses us.
I was in a lying Twist Pose on my stomach with my arms stretched out to each side facing the mirror. What I saw was not my reflection. I saw my Self/Soul looking at the body that I call Keely. I was separate from my Self. I couldn't look away. It was surreal but so real too. I mean I looked the same but I saw me differently. I looked at me in the mirror and took a minute to tell me what I wanted to hear....'You are safe.....you are smart, powerful, kind and you are going to help change the world. Its about time.' I felt so grounded and saw myself lying on the earth instead of the shala floor....hugging the earth with my arms. I saw that we(bodies) are all connected to this planet by the pull of gravity. I felt the gravity. It was the truest thing I've ever experienced in my life. I looked so small in my body but I(Self) felt my infinite vastness. I am infinite Devine. Hell yes!
I have "known" these things for a long time and felt connection to things but in that moment it became a "knowing". I experienced and saw it all exactly as it is.....not as we are taught or what most of us believe. I literally saw TRUTH in that moment. In the mystic. In chimes Rebecca....'feel your connection to earth....picture yourself giving her a giant hug. Mother Earth loves us. Do we love her back?" I was floored! Literally! LOL! 'No fucking way! I laughed, smiled and balled all at the same time!! It was super crazy cool!!!'
I knew part of my tears were from the work I was doing with my body during the poses. So much healing. I felt the shifting and releasing several times. I was telling myself:
'I release all that no longer serves me in this life.....thank you for your part in this journey....thank you for all the lessons and strength and wisdom you've armed me with....I am done punishing myself....I am done believing the lies I've told myself all these years.....I no longer have to pay for mistakes from this life or any others....It is now done.....I am ready.....Its time to do what I am here to do....time to live my purpose......breathing in faith.....exhaling fear.....breathing in power....exhaling weakness.....inhaling prosperity....exhaling lack....
After class Rebecca made her way to me. I knew she would. Everyone could hear my sniffles during class. I could barely breath. LOL. I walked to her and hugged her tight and gave her a short synopsis of what had just happened. She was grinning....she understood. Of course.
I gathered my things and walked into the cafe for water and to finish letting out these tears that still wanted to flow. As I walked in Led Zeppelin's "Stairway To Heaven" was playing. The first words I heard were the same words a dear friend posted on my page just a few days ago. The exact words and they couldn't have been more apropos. Yes....more magic. I laughed and then cried some more.
I have been here, in Ahimsa Cafe at Anuttara Yoga, for hours....crying, and writing these words to you...tears still filling my eyes....full of gratitude and knowing....knowing that my life will never be the same. Knowing the truth.
And as we wind on down the road....
Our shadows taller than our soul.... There walks a lady we all know.... Who shines white light and wants to show.... How everything still turns to gold.... And if you listen very hard.... The tune will come to you at last.... When all are one and one is all.... To be a rock and not to roll....